Anything you can do I can do better.

The phrase that has been bother me for a couple week is this: "I did it, so you should be able to do it." That blatant assumption to me, is a slap in the face. I understand when people say it to give perspective, but all it really shows is a "pissing contest". There is no prize and what is left is a mess to clean up.

This phrase bothers me, because I've been surrounded by people in the past who kept using this kind of phrase in my life. Here are a couple phrases that have been used to similar effects:

• Back in my day, I had to do X and X. It isn't that bad.
• God will use it for good.
• There is a purpose and meaning for everything, you just haven't seen it.
• Why don't you do it this way? It always works for me.
• You are making harder on yourself.
• I was able to do it, so can you.

All these kinds of phrases are meant to be sincere or helpful, but they do the opposite at times. I know I've used some of these phrases and I'm guilty of this as well. But as I grow older, "wiser" (not sure if I have wisdom), and gain perspective of how I and other's see the world we live in. I start seeing these phrases as a band-aid that don't really treat or deal with the real issue.

Most of the time, I don't want a band-aid. They are cheap, indispensable, and don't really take much to apply. If you really want to help someone by "treating" their wound, baggage, or problems that you have to clean, dress, and put actual effort into it then. I want someone to engage and talk with me. I don't want to feel guilty that you are a better person than me. I already don't believe myself to be good to begin with. If life, faith, and with family we shouldn't be going after each other on who is right or wrong, but really trying to help each other in a way we can understand each other. I don't want someone to "pray" for me to make me feel better, I want someone to grab me and say, "Hey, lets get together and talk". If there is a issue, lets talk it out. If there is a problem, LET ME KNOW. If there is something you want to talk about, don't be around the bush, please tell me.

As much as I want to be there for others and for people. I don't want to be paralyzed trying to figure out what others want. I don't want to make someone feel inept because I can do something they can't. Congratulation, you found God in the church and it only took you 10 years. Congratulation you graduate from college and got a job before you turned 25 years old. Congratulations, you can function with lack of sleep and do everything. These statements bother me, because they don't take effort to understand or care to listen to people. So what is the point of talking?

Luckily, with this rant, I'm reminded with this. God loves me, God loves you, and I'm not perfect either. There isn't a true answer to deal with these issues. The only way to really work through these things is really putting effort and energy into something. Nothing can be made to last without the effort being placed into it. Investing in people, community, and work takes time. Takes patients and take understanding. I feel that being a "late bloomer" is a label that I have lived with for awhile. 

Next time you are there for when someone is hurting, instead of fixing the problem. Sit with them, be comfortable in the pain they are in. Listen to what their heart is crying and try to understand from their perspective in order to be able to talk to them in where they are. Because instead of helping, you could push them over or just make them upset in life, the situation, or you.