There are always two sides of each coin. I want to express that the church as a whole hurts and my hope is to reconcile people within the church to work together than against. Instead of pointing fingers at each other, how about pointing upwards and figuring out how to improve these things.
This is an article I read on a friend's post on FB. I read it (please read it to understand what I'm posting) and I really couldn't sympathize for him. I wish I could, but to me I couldn't stomach it. I was going to write a long comment, but realized there were so many thoughts that I just make a post about it. I disagree because it pulls away from God and pulls towards ourselves. This is also a viewpoint of a layperson who is just as invested in the church as a pastor. I'm not going to bible thump, because this is about the experience we have with people and each other. If scripture is used, it'll be a wall that disconnects us from each other. If you want to know where scripture has shaped my thought, I'll send it to you if you ask.
#1. We Take It Personally When You Leave The Church.
Laypeople also take it personally when we pour everything into the church; but don't feel appreciated by the pastoral staff or the elders. As much as I love my church, I would really appreciate the affirmation that they are claiming to want as well. When people leave the church, especially those who invested heavily in their church, they are leaving because they are hurting. They don't belong and feel that they aren't important to the church. So in the end, everyone takes it personally when we leave the church, they leave with a broken heart.
Sidenote: statistics of youth pastor drop out rates.
#2. We Feel Pressure To Perform Week After Week.
I felt the pressure of performing at youth group because of the legality and the responsibility that was expected of me when I served. Anytime we didn't clean up, someone would complain. Yet, no one really had to clean up the way the youth ministry had to clean up. I understand we are messy, but at the same time, there were so many times it was expected of us to prepare the room for other ministries when this never happened to us.
On a personal note: when our ministry was going through transition there was a heavy burden to maintain the status quo. Especially when there was a new director that was getting their feet wet in the ministry. It was expected of the veteran advisors (I'm not speaking on their behalf this is my own opinion) that we are strong enough spiritually to carry it. I still feel betrayed and hurt by this. In one had, my faith was being challenged that if I'm not faithful then our ministry would worsen. I left for personal reason, but I felt like I had abandoned my fellow brothers and sisters in faith. I honestly haven't gotten over it and its something that I've learning to understand. In the end, my faith in Christ won't make things happen unless that is the will God. I can't keep something the same unless the exact same energy is being put back to sustain it.
#3. We Struggle With Getting Our Worth From Ministry.
I learned a early lesson in ministry, "that it isn't about me". It's about Jesus, because he saved me. I wasn't made for ministry and I was really bad at it. I can play with kids, but being a big brother and teacher are both things I had to grow in over time, with Christ. Our faith in Christ shapes how we see ministry, how we do ministry, and how we live ministry. I want to say it's separate, but ministry is everywhere. Does that mean I evangelize all the time, yes . My love for people is from God and not myself. Knowing my self worth in Christ isn't from others is very important. Because if you don't love yourself in a healthy manner, then how can you really administer love to others? How do you love someone else if you aren't able to show love to yourself. I'm constantly growing in understanding what that looks like in my life and I doubt I'll ever grasp the full extent of it. My worth isn't from ministry, it's from Christ.
#4. We Regularly Think About Quitting.
I have probably left ministry twice, well three times to be honest. The first time I left was because I wasn't mature enough to be a leader and I shouldn't had been a leader. I was lying to God, myself, and to others. The second time I left, was because I was going to Bible college and working full time. I'm not an academic person, it drove me crazy trying to do it. God wanted me to focus on one thing and not split myself up. I didn't listen and I forced myself to leave. Going back to point #3 is this, ministry is God's gift for us to pursue. God can give and take it away without any hesitation. I find the join of God wanting to use me that fills me with joy. The third time is because I moved to Japan. I had to quit, because the calling of God is stronger than staying. So take that as you will. To assume that someone can't leave, quit, or resign is absurd. You are assuming people are beyond people and that they are able to overcome everything. God never said I can do that, God said that he could do that. That is a very clear distinction for me. Trying pulling Jeremiah 29:11 on me and I will open my theological education on you.
#5. We Say We Are Transparent – It’s Actually Opaque.
Transparency is such a weird word, because everyone uses it, but they don't understand it. God calls us to be transparent with Him, first and foremost. Then when we are transparent with other, it is suppose to be for the glory of God. What benefit is it for me to reveal my sins and broken to someone who won't understand or be able to help me with them? That is insane. Why would you tell your children at age 6 your biggest fears and problem you have in life, they aren't ready for that. Then why would you expect the a different outcome with people who don't know you well enough? The point about being honest and vulnerable is because you are in an environment to be that way. Otherwise you are opening yourself to be treated as a doormat. Christ told us to show people love by turning the cheek and walking an extra mile (heavy context must be understood of Christ's words). But that was because it was expected of them to do those things. They didn't have a choice. Transparency is a choice, use it for good and with respect.
#6. We Measure Ourselves By The Numbers.
Try youth ministry and tell me how great numbers turn out to be. I can't count how many people I've saved or helped in life. Because honestly, I haven't been told and I really don't know. There are close friends who I've helped or encouraged but in the end, I have no clue. This is coming from a person who spent almost 7 1/2 years into youth ministry through youth groups and camps.
#7 We Spend More Time Discouraged Than Encouraged
I had to go to my surrogate mother and father for advice and encouragement. Because there were so many times I was lost. There was so many times where I didn't know what I was doing. There would be times I would pray before meeting up with some of the students and question if I'm doing anything? Honestly, I didn't, because God does all the work. God asks me to give the best I can and he'll use it for his will and glory. Ultimately the students I have affected, wasn't just because of me, but really because what God is doing in their lives. I'm encouraged that it isn't on my shoulders to save people, that's God job. My job is to live, love, and be the best I can for how God is calling me in life. That is a life long journey that I have yet to understand. I can't spend time wondering if I'm doing good or not because I don't know.
Being a pastor like being a advisor for youth ministry is a pretty thankless job. I didn't get paid and I poured money into it. Does that make a sucker? Well for Christ, that's a pretty sweet deal.
#8. We Worry About What You Think.
I worry all the time and I think pastors get it worse. This is for people within the church:
YOUR PASTOR IS A PERSON AND HUMAN BEING! THEY AREN'T BETTER OR STRONGER IN FAITH THAN YOU! THEY WERE WILLING TO JUMP INTO THE DEEP THAT GOD CALLED THEM INTO! (I hate using caps, but I want to make a strong point).
Pastors are needed because they have the training to help teach scripture and help contextualize how the kingdom of Christ manifests itself into this world. Does that mean they know everything? No. Does that mean they are infallible and omniscient like God? No. Will anyone other that Christ be able to do that? No.
Then why are we expecting pastors to be God? They are men and women who are pointing to Christ; who is pointing to God. Do you understand that they are trying their best and if there is a problem. Be a mature person, talk it out and work out the differences. Is everything going to be agreed upon? No, reality doesn't work that way, you can't please everyone. So instead of trying to be right, ask yourself, "what would please God?" It'll change how you feel about certain topics.
#9. We Struggle With Competition And Jealousy.
This is a problem that everyone faces. Competition and jealousy can produce inept feeling of self worth and contempt for each other. There is no win situation. If you really want to compare and compete, do that with God. It'll help you realize that he is in control and question where your heart lies.
I'm not going to lie, this probably hurts more for those who are in a small community churches. But come to Japan and visit our churches. That is something they deal with on heavier scale. Imaging a decent church being 30 people and also look at how expensive it is to have a church here. Perspective helps and God will sustain his churches because he can. He will has made a way for his church to thrive and survive.
#10. We Feel Like We Failed You More Than We Helped You.
I will fail you, I will fail everyone, and I will fail myself. I'm a broken sinner and I'm not perfect. I'm not going to live under the dichotomy that because I'm a Christian I have to help. I help because I want to help, I help because God loves and helps me, and I help because I can't help myself in helping others. Take joy that we fail and that God doesn't call us failures. He has put his seal and approval on us. We can do good, but it's through Christ. Not me.
