You Only Got One

I only have one family that I was born into and that is the same family I will always belong to. I may always agree or feel misunderstood, but I can't change it.  We can hurt each other and misunderstand each other, but there is a deep love that isn't understandable (even to ourselves).

Family has always been a word I'm trying to understand more and more about.  My family, church family, and adoptive family (aka families I mooch off of... sorry and thank you). But my own family seems to be the hardest.  The hardest to love, understand, and to be understood. Over the years I've learned a couple things:

1. Get over your past and yourself thinking you are better than others.
2. Be comfortable with yourself.
3. Listen to what the have to say to you.
4. Be able to express yourself.
5. Learn to fight a battle worth fighting for, otherwise, let it go.

I'm starting to understand thing better, but I'm still far away from doing the list well. This list isn't something that will make my family relationships better, but it'll help me adapt to what is going on in their and my life.  In the end, I barely see my family more than 2 to 3 days or at most 2 to 3 weeks.  Either way, I want to make of the most of it. I think I'm getting better, but time will show if it is working. In the end, this is my family that I as born into.  I love them and want to be a part of their life, so I just have to learn, love, and be.

Picture take from my brother's iPhone

Where to start

I think denoting myself to a noob is fitting.  Its another way of saying "newbie".  I've seen it mostly used when I play video games, but it isn't used as often.  But since I'm moving to Japan on the 1st of January, I think it is fitting.

I would like to say that I know a lot about Japan.  But I don't know much about the Japanese people.  Which to me is the definition of Japan. A country rich in history, rich in culture, and of all things having it's fair shares of ups and downs.  There is a big calling for me to be in Japan.  My mom is from there, so there is a sense of wanting to belong.  I connect well to Japanese culture by food, music, comics, and animations (also turn into Howard Wolowitz with the ladies *end creepy part*). Also I belive my personal faith started in Japan.  I want to connect to these things while I'm there.  Getting to know people and understand the nation as a whole and as individuals.  I'm driven to wanting to understand people because it helps me to understand myself.

So this is all going to be a new experience and I think the most recent one that I struggled with was leaving so many friends and family for this new adventure.  I think I've gone through the steps of mourning a couple times and its still hits me. I will miss my small group, my close friends and family, and SYTE where I've spent so many hours and years into.  God has blessed me with these things, that it is hard leaving.  But fortunately I'm reminded why I go.  Because God saved me by loving, accepting, and believing in me.  So I want to do likewise.